Try not to move, don`t react. Leave the funny man alone. If you react the funny man`ll notice you. Stay still and stay calm, that`s the secret. If he looks at you try to look as friendly and non-committal as possible don`t let him think you`re worried. If he speaks to you try and be as polite and brief as possible, don`t say anything to offend him whatever you do. Don`t run, he`ll notice you`re gone and you`ve nowhere to hide. Don`t try to be funny or, he`ll always expect you to be funny and he`ll get terribly upset once you run out of jokes. Don`t try to be clever or you`ll bore him. Don`t try to fight him, he respects people who try and fight him more than anything else, that`s why they suffer so. Don`t try and reason with him or he`ll get all mixed up. Don`t try and make casual conversation, he does hate small talk. Don`t ask him questions or he`ll wonder why you`re asking and get suspicious. Don`t tell him any anecdotes, well just don`t... Don`t be comfortable or he`ll come for you when you`re not looking. Don`t think about him or you`ll go mad. Don`t think about anything else or he`ll get jealous. Just stay here and keep quiet. That my child is the way to stay alive. Unless you want to end up like Tracey and all the others. We don`t want to be a Tracey do we? "But surely mummy there are enough of us to overcome the funny man and kill him?" "Have I not told you murder is wrong?" "But mummy, is it not the case that is permissible to kill one who has killed outside the law?" "Yes my child but first they must be taken in hand by the police, courts and executioner" "Is there not a police, courts and executioner to take the funny man in hand?" "Yes my child, but alas all the police, courts and executioners in the land are all corrupt, idle and ignorant. And would only take us in hand instead." "But mummy is it not allowed to kill one who is threatening to do likewise to oneself? Surely there are enough of us to take him unawares and render him insensible or if necessary dispatch him in the struggle?" "The funny man is propelled without by a great force from within, to kill or restrain the funny man you should have to be stronger than his despair, faster than he is to hate and more pure in heart than his is black." "How strong is his despair, mummy?" "Six times as strong as were Samson" "How fast is his he to hate, mummy?" "Faster than lightning" "How black is his, mummy?" "As black as coal" "Shall he never be killed mummy?" "He shall be when our saviour comes, child." "When shall that be?" "When everyone who is good is dead" "Why is that, mummy?" "For when the saviour comes evil men will be ready with weapons and torches and shall endeavour to destroy him. He shall have to destroy every piece of the world so that they have nowhere to hide. But he refrains from doing so while good hearted people still walk the earth because he does not want to destroy them as well" "Why did God allow the funny man to exist, mummy?" "God is generous, child" "Why did God allow us to be put into this situation?" "God cannot look after you child, you turned your back on him. You were a vain, wilful, vengeful, proud, arrogant child who was expelled from the tribe of Judah for your sins." "Shall I get married someday, mother?" "Of course, child" "When?" "In the years to come" "But shall I not be too old?" "Nonsense" "But mummy, I`m forty-seven" "But you come from a very good family" "Shall I have children someday?" "Yes, child" "What shall they be like?" "They shall be as quiet and careful as you are and shall never be caught by the funny men either" "Mummy, why is my skin turning grey?" "Because you have been trying not to be noticed for so long you are becoming a grey person" "What is a grey person" "It is someone nobody hardly ever notices" "I don`t think I can bear being a grey person" "If you could then you wouldn`t be a grey person" "Mummy?" "Yes child" "How do you know so very much?" "Because I am the funny man" "Have you caught me?" "No child" "Why are you pretending to be my mother?" "I became your mother" "How?" "She became me" "How?" "Don`t ask foolish questions" "Why have you not caught me?" "I can`t find you" " ..." "Won`t you tell me where you are?" "You told me not to talk to you" "You should have listened..." "..." "Why?" " Why, what?" "Why did you tell me?" "Because I didn`t want me to hurt you" "Why don`t you just not kill me?" "Because I`m not always your mother" "I wish you were never my mother" "I wish I was never the funny man" "Why don`t you stop being funny?" "I can`t" "Why not" "Because I want things" "Things like what?" "exactly what you want"