He was a fine upstanding bantam cock So brisk and stiff and spry With a springy step and a jaunty plume And a purposeful look in his eye In his little black laughing eye there was... I took him to the coop and introduced him to Me seventeen wild eyed hens He upped and he tupped as a hero tups He bowed to them all and then He upped and he tupped 'em all again... And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese He rudely did intrude With a glazed eye and open mouth They bore him with fortitude And a little bit of gratitude... He jumped me giggling guinea fowl He thrust his attentions upon Me twenty hysterical turkeys and A visiting migrant swan And the bantam thundered on... He ravaged me fan tailed pigeon and Me lily white columbine And as I was locking up me budgerigar He jumped me parrot from behind Who was sitting on me shoulder at the time... Then all of a sudden with a gasp and a wheeze He clasped his wings to his head Lay flat on the ground with his feet in the air Me bantam cock lay dead And the vultures circled overhead they did... What a noble bird, what a champion cock What a way to live and to die I was digging him a grave to save his bones From the hungry buzzards in the sky When the bantam opened up a sly little eye... He gave me a wink and a terrible grin The way that rapists do He said you see them big daft buggers up there They'll be down in a minute or two... They'll be down in a minute or two.